Kayak Packing Hacks - Toilet Paper

Note paperback book in the right corner of the window

How much to bring?  How little can I get away with?  My first coastal trip was with a nature boy who thought that leaves and smooth rocks were acceptable substitutes for #2 hygiene.   He didn’t bring any toilet paper at all and I quickly learned that his smooth-rock-requirement severely limited the number of beaches that we could camp on.  I felt that his Mr. Nature approach was extreme but I wanted to fit in so I pretended to go along with his plan but stole as much toilet paper as I could from the “Queen of Chilliwack’s” mensroom.  I hid this tree-wasting contraband in my boat and would only take it out when needed.  I nervously performed regular inventories and it wasn’t long before I realized that demand was outstripping supply.  What to do?   

On Day 8 I bid adieu to the very last of my secret, stolen toilet paper.  I was really depressed at the thought of what was coming next but then, miraculously, my luck changed.  I found a damp and mouse-eaten paperback book delicately balancing on the empty window frame of the dilapidated cabin on Triquet Island.  I quickly stuffed it down my pants before nature boy could see it and claim it as community fire starter,  No way was I going to share this bounty with him.  He was welcome to all of the barnacle covered rocks and cedar bows that he loved so much and of which there were many. 

At the conclusion of that trip I quit paddling with Nature Boy as I felt that I had learned everything he had to teach me and adopted my own toilet paper sensibilities which embraced "more-is-better" as a key tenet.  The problem, though, was that while TP is light it takes up a lot of space so I found a way to reduce that volume and fit it into spaces that often go to waste.  This is what works for me. 

Four Rolls in the Space of Two

Take a large leak proof bag and shove two rolls of toilet paper into it.  I use 10” wide zip locks.  Sit on the bag to smoosh the rolls and compress the paper and while still sitting on it close the airtight seal.  Now open the seal just enough to insert a straw and suck the remaining air out.  Seal the bag.  Take a length of jute or some other flammable line and tie it around the bag.  Leave a length of line on each sealed bag.  Two to three feet is probably plenty.  Tape the bag tight ensuring that the line is secured to the bag.  Don’t laugh but I pack 8 rolls this way into 4 bags.  Take a bit of colored electrical tape and put a different colored tape on the end of each line.  Red, white and blue is my go-to.  The bags will be oval and elongated.  I shove them one at a time into the very stern or bow of my boat as it is space seldom used for anything else.  Force them back there in an order so that you can remember which string to pull for the next bag of TP (hence red, white and blue).  The jute can be burned and the bags can be reused at home.  

In case you are curious about the book, by wild coincidence that paperback was “Roughing It” by Mark Twain.   I shit you not.